Category Archives: Chickens

Ladies And Gentlemen…The Beetles!

I'm easily excited.
I’m easily excited.

Now, you may notice a big difference between these two Darkling beetles. Colour is probably  the main one.

They are white when they turn from pupa to beetle, and will darken over time.

You may also notice that the darker one has dust all over it’s back. That,s because it’s crippled and I am constantly having to flip it back onto it’s feet so it can drag it’s club foot and busted up wing around the enclosure.

That was the first beetle, and it came from a pupa that was in a container from the pet store. It was very small, but it was my first one, so I didn’t know any better. I just kept it, and figured that it would breed with the other small ones that came from the store.

They all dried up to husks.

Not Nemo though.

I named him/her that, because of the lucky wing/fin. I know it is on the wrong side, but it’s still pretty lucky. I have kept the little waif alive by turning it over and making sure it’s near the easy to digest food and the moisture source. I also introduced it to the fine looking specimen beside it.

I hope they get along. I would hate to think of Nemo struggling through life, all gimbled up, and then dying with no real friends. Who wants to be teased and picked on by all of the strong, healthy beetles, after already dealing with several physical deformities? Nobody, that’s who. Well, I’m not going to let that happen in my mealworm farm. Not ever.

I’m only kidding. They are going to breed and then die, or in Nemo’s case, just die. I can’t imagine he’ll make it another day, and if he does, who wants to mate with a small, weakened, husk of a beetle? I’m pretty sure that only the strong survive in the insect kingdom.

I probably should have let him stay on his back and not interfered with nature, but I’m pretty sure I put nature in a tailspin when I started this “farm”. I am breeding another living thing for profit, and when/if I get the chickens, as a source of protein for my eventual breakfast orbs.

I don’t think that I could have let the wee beggar die on it’s back. I don’t think I could let anything die like that. I doubt that these beetles have the capacity for anything, except for eating, breeding, and dying, but I could be very wrong. If I am, I hope he sees that I tried to help and doesn’t bite me in my sleep.

I hope I’m not though, because I would feel pretty bad to know that all they wanted to do is find a loaf of French bread and contemplate the meaning of life with some other snooty intellectuals and maybe ruminate on what it means to be a beetle in today’s bleak world of insect farms and protein smoothies.

Either way, I hope I can get $3.50 for a fifty pack of the dumb ones. I might throw in some French bread and sell the ones that are eating it for $4. You know, because they are better than the others. Hey, give me $8 and I’ll throw in a bar of soap. 😉

Oh yeah, check out dirtybirdsoaps.ca if you get a chance. If you have tried any of our bars, and you see them on the site, please leave a review for us. It would mean a lot. Probably.

Okay, I admit that I don’t know much about the commerce part of the site. We would still appreciate the review though.

Chris

Backstory – The Chickens

When I was a kid, we had what you might call a hobby farm. The hobbies were luckily not all at once, because I couldn’t imagine trying to raise quail, Cornish hens, Ring Neck Pheasants, rabbits, goats, cattle, and pigs all at once on a half acre farm that included the house.

It feels like I’m forgetting something.

Oh right.

Chickens.

Hey lady, whatever butters your toast.

The chickens that we had were all meat birds, so you didn’t want to get attached to them. Not that I ever thought I would, because they are by far the most soulless being in existence on this planet. I mean soulless and extremely stupid.

Also, processing them makes me sick to my stomach.  Not to mention the ammonia smell in the coop, and the sight of the red chicken butts that have been pecked out by the local bullies. It doesn’t matter how many times they report it to the authorities, the bullying goes on. You have to chop the bully’s head off.

I can’t see ever getting meat birds for myself, unless I found someone who would process them for a percentage of the birds. In that case, I guess I could stand their stupidity for a little bit.

Laying hens, on the other hand…

Them I don’t mind. There’s just something about fresh eggs and chickens scratching around the yard that makes me feel like a real farmer. Plus, if I get too many worms in the bin, I can throw a few to the girls. I think it makes them happy, and from what I hear, it makes the yolks a nice, deep yellow.

I really don’t know, as I have only been around the dumber, more male versions of chickens. I’m just going by what I’ve heard around the backyard chicken circles of Google+.

I do remember as a kid, I would go to friend’s places that had laying hens running around the yard and I always enjoyed watching their curious mannerisms and the way their beady little eyes would dart around, always looking for any sign of movement. I used to sit for hours sometimes, just watching them and wondering why they were content with so little, but then I remembered how delicious the eggs were and I quit caring about what was going on in their heads.

Lift up your butt there, Clucky. It’s time for breakfast.

Anyhow, I am just letting you know that when I do get my two hens, I am going to be looking for advice on raising them, but until then, I would like to hear which laying breed is the best for a northern climate. Also, if anyone knows a good place to order the chicks in Northern BC, you could throw it in on the comments or in any of the social media outlets at our disposal.

Chris